Thou shalt not read on a screen

Moses is making his way down Mt. Sinai with two LCD screens under his arm and a flash drive in his pocket. The screens are heavy. Where’s God been the last month? Steve Jobs launched the new iPad: The best way to experience the web, email, photos and video. Hands down. But no, He chooses to burden Moses with two oversized, outdated monitors to take down to the people. What’s on this drive anyway? Moses stops on the rocky path, sets up one of the screens and plugs in the drive. It’s loading. ‘Open folder to view files.’ One folder: ‘The Ten Commandments.’ He clicks on the folder - ten files. He clicks on the first file, ‘Thou shalt not...’. Word is loading. Word is opening. Waiting. Frustration shoots through his body. Word finally opens a document containing single spaced, 5 pt copy written in Lucida Calligraphy. Moses strains his eyes to read what’s on the screen. He tries to zoom in. The computer freezes. ‘Word has stopped working and will shut down.’ Moses jumps to his feet, picks up the screens and slams them into the nearest boulder.

“That’s it,” he says, “God can send a hard copy.”

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